yamanai ame da neeee

Sunday, July 30, 2006

i have decided i seriously wanna take psychology man!
i dunno just suddenly had this longing to know all those things i see on the paper.
they look interesting.
But, aiyah whatever.

Yesterday, we had ptc..
and my parents saw my results.
hahah.. everyone, cheer for my victory.
they saw my maths and they said
'why you go take H2 maths? why never listen to jiejie's advice!?'
HA HAH.
SNAGGED.
What was her advice?
OH YEAH i REMEMBER now.
'H1 maths NO USE ONE LAHHH DON'T TAKE!'

OH MY.
the sweet taste of revenge.
for all my life of surrendering under 'jiejie's advice',
i can finally link my ill results to her kindly advice.
'take physics!'
physics olvls-C6.
'take H2 maths!'
maths- U grade.
whatever lah.
she asks me now, not to take arts subject in uni.
means she wants me to take law or some other shitty un-art thing.
but i WANT to take psychology!
wthhh...

anw, thats totally irrelevant to my life now.
i got tuition on monday at night
and EoM is due the next day.
No need to sleep already loh!
smart.

ODAC is wednesday.
I'm looking forward.. really really wish to go!
It's gonna be fun!

I should start working hard for promos.

Our eoy camp is so dead.

My PW is stagnant.

I want to go for OBS.

I miss my brother.

11:42 AM

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Can i just chuck this into a corner of my consiousness?
Can you help me forget this?

Recently i've been feeling like an angry girl, and i swear its not because i choose to.
ok maybe i did.
but i'm not a person who gets really angry with others easily.
but now, i'm really really angry.
i'm so pissed i feel incoherent.
all i feel like doing is to spew bad words.

I hope that they're not reading this, but if they are, i hope they wouldn't think these are words of anger.
I mean it.
Last minute work never gets anywhere.
Don't say i'm trying too hard, can anyone be GLAD that i'm trying?
i don't want to be angry, i really really don't.
but its all just so different from stnicks and what it all felt like last time.
i know, ADAPT.
but this is not about adapting or whatever, its about our freaking MARKS.
do you guys not care if you get a C for PW?
omgggggg arghhhh i feel so helpless.
and i feel excluded.
and it doesnt help that my leader listens to lousy advice by lousy people.
arghhhh.
i'm not blaming her but arghhhhhhhh i can't do anything to change it either!
I AM A USELESS PERSON.
admit it, liting, admit it.

10:08 PM

HAHAHA
I can sign in to blogger while amanda can't!!!!
I feel evil mocking her/

My PW is dead.
Seriously DEAD/
Can anyone save me?
I wanna help but i feel useless.
So whatever lah.. haiiii
i need...
confidence boost.

OH YAH GO TAG MY BOARD. PLEASE.

2:16 PM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

HEY PEOPLE GO TAG MY BOARD.

Today was a pretty normal day.
I GAINED WEIGHT.
I WANNA KILL MYSELF.
Hahaha.. nah just kidding.
Aixin and I made a pact.
I swear i'm gonna get the bubble tea at the end of 14 days!
I AM GONNA GET IT.

Anw, had odac today aft that horribly boring talk by a man..
odac was funnn!!!
I'm glad to say that this year the odac guys are not like our guy-seniors.
yay.
We missed pt cause of the talk.. :(
played captains ball and got cheated by raj into believing that he's in my team arghh and he scored after i stupidly passed the ball to him.
aiyoh so whatever.
Hahha..
Oh yeah.
I'm going for OBS.. I'm damn scared cannn...
I'm afraid i can't handle it and like break down half way or smth.. aiyohhhh.
and hahaha i;m doing the flag bearer crap on nday.
eeyerrrr!!! have to wear YA uniform leh.
How ah how ah.
I don't wanna let my friends see me in it. hahaha.. oops.

Anw, i've decided to slack my day off today.
Seriously don't feel like doing anything.
I need a break.
So.. yupp bye everyone.

Please go tag my board.
It looks terrible!

8:21 PM

Monday, July 24, 2006

i love celebs so :)
you guys are all i need to think abt when i need the strength to carry on.

Heh heh tdy was a bad and good day.
Bad: I was freaked out tired and having this really bad headache but was saved last minute by liz's super-effective-ginseng-panadol-thing.
Yay. Then we stayed back and tried to do zuo wen, with no results.
So we went home.
Good: I love the short 3 min walk to canteen aft GP lesson :D
look up, look left, look right, look front, all our faves hohoho.

Supposed to be having tuition now but i seriously have too much hmwk to tackle.. so decided to call it off.. yupp hope i manage to finish what i want to finish today.
really really need to do my work.

You know, i was telling shuduan tt if i was in this exact same situation as i was last year, i wld have broken down and cried long long time ago.. but nopee im handling it.
emotionally at least.
I have grown stronger..
like matong said, jc has hardened me.
i'm feeling pretty proud of myself haha..

oh yah yah just now go and eat dinner.. guess who i saw.
XINRONG!!!
She told me SA's super slack.. and her class don't really study one..
poor girl.
but yup it was really good to see her again!
very very long nvr see her alr.. haha.. and some of the other ppl from 4u..
aiyoh i miss all of them super alot lah...

haiii ok i better go now.
i wanna update onlineletters but i cant rmb the username!!!
ahh.. someone tell me...

8:43 PM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

ewpklmtg'aprdskmgs'dfr;klgma'erws;kghmared'lhpgmareh
IM PISSED DONT ASK ME WHY.

You're busy SO AM I.
So stop thinking I OWE it to you to wait and wait and wait like a fucking idiot.
fuckkk im damn angry and i know its bad but i cant stop saying ittttttt.

OMG I TI"HNK IVE NEVER BEEN THIS PISSED IN MY FREAKING LIFE
you know what, people just don't know how to appreciate things.
cant they just THINK of others once in a while?!?

it doesnt help that i can't catch up with my work and they are not the ones suffering the consequences for me.

9:20 PM

"dear lena, thank you for the friendship, thank you for the time spent together. the many laughs the times we got into trouble, the encouragements and the silly stuff u told us. i remember it was you that convinced me that we can't sit down after exercising because the lactose or something will gather in our butts, giving u big-assilitis!! even up to today i will never sit down immediately after exercising. thank you lena for the spinning- till-we-drop sessions, the monica toh classes, the barry white dancing, the mahjong cards to kick start your day, the barbeques... thank you for the bright eager response when we called you lena cheo bu; deservingly so, you were indeed beautiful, just you and your sexy mole. thank you for the 7 years of being classmates and the many more years of friendship.

i am sorry i cannot be there to say my final goodbye to you. i am sorry i cannot see u one last time. here is good bye for now, till we meet again."

OH MY GOD i feel like crying.
Found deborah's blog by accident... omggg...
I wonder how she feels and I feel sorry that I can't feel the way she does.

HAI.
Why am I here again?
Think I must really start doing my work...
I feel so horrible because I haven't really been catching up with the things that has been going on.. ahhhh...
Dumbo, dumbo.
ok i shall stop taunting myself.
What a dumb move.

'You must come home more often leh..'
Yes yes, I'm trying.
Can't you see?!
But no, of course they can't see, they never did.
Thus, my o lvl art piece which they don't see also. (as in, what it really means)
How easily they sweep it away, pretending that it has nothing to do with them.
They don't know art pieces always reflects the artist's emotions.
Of course they don't, because they choose not to.

Yesterday has been a weird day, happy and sad at the same time.
I really don't wanna talk about the sad part.
Happy: I get to see celebs again.
All except jen.. hai i really really very long never see her already..
And we saw Mrs Goh, my beloved vp! :)
She said 'it was just last year..'
Of course, she meant that it was just last year WE were the ones passing down our post to our juniors.
Mann.. time passes soooo fast.

Today, we went to recee(hmmm how to spell?) bukit timah hill.
hahaha.. it was really really fun.
Maybe i'll update the pics nxt time..
Went with dwayne amanda wei xiang and raj..
i feel proud of myself now!
no doubt the hill is only 163m high.. but the route we took was damn challenging..
and i think that its really gonna bond odac if ms lee agrees to let us take the route..
I mean, its dangerous lah.. but if we can do it, so can they!
I pray i can go.
Oh oh the funniest thing is the MDM YEE called to ask me to do HOMEWORK while i was panting away.. i was like 'HUH?! zuo wen?!'
hahahaha...

Lemme tell you whats really up with my life.
Homework to do:
1. Chinese compo
2. Correction in chi file
3. All the unfinished hmwk
4. PC template
5. Maths assg 13 yet to be completed.
6. Econs essay shit.
7. Econs tut.
8. Go lib for proj work research

hmmm i think thats it.
sad case,.. guess what im doing tml.
Im gg to m'sia to eat durian.
Hahahaha...

4:34 PM

Friday, July 21, 2006

I hate my life.
Look at the effing time/
ITS FIVE FREAKING AM.
What am I doing up and on the internet?!

I WOKE UP TO DO MY WORK OMG.

I never used to be able to do that!
Look at how effed up my sleeping timetable is.. arghh...
and I missed Lost yesterday.
I'm so smart lah..
and guess what?
After I reached home and bathed, everything was a blur can.
I'm not even sure if i ate dinner.

Maybe I should go and see a doctor.
Hahhaha.. no i was just kidding.
At least I remembered that i missed Lost..
Aiyoh I dunno lah.. have I been happy or sad??

There's been so many problems in life recently my life just doesn't feel like it used to...
I know,
adapt, adapt, move on as time sweeps all of us up and away.
But you know, I can't help but think about how i NEVER used to have these problems.
And I have no idea why its happening.
I still treat people the same, but why are ppl treating me differently now?
Arghhh. actually, thats a seriously dumb question.
Great.
Celebs i miss you guys so so so much.
And I can't wait till later to see all of you again.
Its really when things are taken away from you, that you start to realise how freaking important they were.

I need some support.
But I don't know what kind.
And who I can go to for it.
Maybe its time to spent more time with my family.
Maybe I've been feeling like that because I eat dinner with my fam less then 2 times a week now. ( including weekends)
'Why do you have so much commitments?'
Wish she would stop asking me that.
How am i to answer?
Guides is my passion, school is my life.
Friends... they're just too important to lose.
Am I to choose one over the other?
Because thats impossible.
Maybe I should go for time management course..
Like one good way to save time is to GET AWAY from this place.
:(

Ok I'm going now.
I feeling kinda relieved..
Guess thats what i've been really feeling for the past few days...
Its no wonder no amount of sleep can stop the tiredness..
the source of it isn't the lack of sleep, is it?

When you're weary, feeling small

When tears are in your eyes,

I will dry them all

I'm on your side

When times get rough

And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Now my nose is leaking a great amount of liquid.

Haiii.. i need a bridge over my troubled water.

Who is gonna be my bridge :((((

5:07 AM

Thursday, July 20, 2006

HEYY im back after __ years/

I dunno what to say. too much alr..
Anw i think i've been going through an.. erm emotionally unstable period of my life.
I say 'i think' because i really don't know what i've been going through.
HAII.

I love all my friends.
For being there for me.

I feel bad now cause i didn't wave to raphael when he walked pass..
HAIII why am i always like that??
Wish i can have a faster reaction time so that ppl will stop thinking i dao them when actually i'm not doing it on purpose!!
I can actually forget that I KNOW that person.
Like what the hell is that?!

I miss stnicks very very badly and i need just to think back.. to remember, to feel that it's actually still there. I'm disillusioned.
The sad thing is i don't HAVE an hour.. hai.. WHY?
Cause i've been busy feeling tired.
I think i'm sick.
Or am i just sleeping too much and too little at the same time?
ARGHH. I DUNNO.
Forget it.

2:31 PM

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Matong is right i'm too lazy to blog bt King and The Clown BUT i wanna say that it's damn nice.. i cried like crap can.. haha... and everyone in the cinema was sniffing away..
That's how touching it is!
It shows us alot of things.. loyalty and love, most importantly.
This is like yet another Elephant.

Anw... things have been going pretty slow everyday..
seems like such a long time since the weekends!
But alas, its only tuesday.
What can I say?
HOWEVER, its kinda weird but i dont want tml to comeeee...
ORAL lah.. I am so dead.
For sure i'll just stutter to my death.
In the end i'll just start repeating my points!
Arghh and lately, i've been bothered by something that i cannot change.
and thats not good. at all.
LIFE IS UNFAIR.
Who said the earth is round?
Everything always leans more heavily to one side.
Haiii...
I've been thinking and thinking about it.. why?
why??
It pisses me even more when the lucky one is blindly unaware of the situatioin he/she is in.
I guess what you reap isn't what you sow.
It never was.
Who told me it was? I should have known.. everyone's a liar.

Got this strong urge to run away from it all.

Hahaha looks like my life's been pretty dark huh.
But no lah.. thats just me thinking too much sometimes..
Thanks God I have my friends with me.
FOR EXAMPLE,
Today, CELEBS SURPRISED ME!
woohoo.. successful once more.
Hahaha.. I love you guys lah!
Never failed to brighten up my life :)
HAven't laughed so hard in a few days... hahaha i swear my stomach muscles almost popped from all that laughing mann..!
The cake we stuffed ourselves with was delicious :))))
THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY.

11:44 PM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it some how?

I guess I thought this would never change

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town?

I keep, keep thinking that its not goodbye

Keep on thinking its a time to fly.

I love you guys so so much I dunno how to put it in words.

I didn't know how much i missed 4 unity until yesterday..

And you guys have no idea how much I appreciated the bday song :)
Never in my dreams would i have thought that i would hear 4u sing me my bday song ever again.. omg.. lucky i didnt think so much yesterday if not i would have cried like crap..

I thought everyone would just move on but it felt just like it used to

Thanks for giving me a wonderful day.

3:07 PM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Hahahaha I remember Chubbs alr!!
Hahaha...
Me and bethia were going home and there was a house that has a security system thing called 'Chubbs' hahahaha and then she was staring at it then when we were in the lift she was like
'It sounds... fat.'
HAhahaha.. i swear i haven't laughed so hard for a month!
So cute lahh!! Hahahahah.. I still find it so funny!!
hahaha... omggg.. hahahaha...
Chubby chubb chubb :)

Ok anw back to my life.
Been pretty normal I guess..
oh oh oh GERMANY LOST OH MYYY.
HOW CAN THAT BE?!
HOW WAS THAT EVER POSSIBLE?!
to think that i went to sleep in peace cause i thought thay would surely win?!
OMGGG. arghhh...
BUT NVM all hopes are not lost.
If PORTUGAL wins tonight, then they might have a bigger chance against Italy!
And yes yes Portugal will win tonight...
Go Pu Tao Ya!!!
I'm gonna wake up tonight because i can no longer trust my instincts.
I wanna watch portugal win, they will!

Hahaha ok.. anw went to SAFTI today.. it was fun.. i guess.
Damn hot lah but quite fun.
Hahaha army boys are cute :)
No lah joking joking they're just nice ppl i guess...
We had 2 tour guides.. one is 2 years older then us, so that means we might meet each other in university..
he's from njc and scored 4As :///
Hope he goes overseas and not come here and fight with me... haahah oops.
Oh! I'm proud of 33a we won all 3 challenges!!
Hahah i like the room part the best.. so funny lah.. esp soap!
Hahaha.. we were supposed to clean up this messed up room to look exactly like it did.. then there was this mosquito net thing that only soap knew how to fold so she was bending down doing smth else then we were like 'Soap!! come fold this!' and then she suddenly shot up and her hair was in this huge mess and everywhere on her face hahahah she was like so panicky and everything and then she was like 'What!?!' hahaha then her eyes were wide open omg so funny lah! never see her like that before..
Ok what else,
basically, the whole trip made me learn that ppl in the OCS lead extremeyl luxurious lives compared to normal ns boys.
Really lah the place was like a hotel.. you even get to stay in a bunk with only 2 ppl and you get to lock the room.. i never imagined life at army to be like that.. and they have like this big and nice canteen that has music and TV. nice right! goshh..
hmm.. but tt person said signinh up for ocs is wasting your life?
Dunno why he said that.. probably cause its hard to rise up to ranks but oh well, i nvr considered that anw.

Oh yeah cj was there too so i met many many sn girls.
Reminds me tt we have to start planning our camp soon...

9:07 PM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

OMG I FOUND MYSELF A NEW PAST TIME.
I LOVE YOU TUBE I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH.

hahahahaha... pardon me im at a state of extreme excitement now and i can jhardly type without tripping over my own fingerssss hohohoho.....!

OMGGG ENERGY IS SO CUTE LAH EVEN IF THEY ONLY HAVE THREE PPL LEFTTT/.
You know i actually managed to find a clip of their performance AFTER they have 3 ppl?
OMGG and they sang LIVE.
Ohhh myyyy thats so charming/sweet/cool/skillful/cute.
ARGHHH.
And they danced just as well oh my godd i wanna die NOW.
Ok and i found this clip which shuwei looked damn good in and now im on shuwei-high cause he's really very cuteee arghhhh
even though the quality of the clip was damn bad but io just cpuldnt help noticing how super goodlooking he is ahhhahahaha..
his features are so nice lah.. :))))))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LrKWe5ysco

SO CUTE .
Watch from 2.16 to 2.30
to catch him at his cutest.
HAHAHAHA. :)

5:50 PM

MIDYEARS ARE OVER AND IM NOT GLAD ABOUT IT.

But guess what,
i don't give a damn anymore.

Friday, after mids we went to loiter at cwp..
For very very long.
Hahah... met shuduan's friends and saw the jianlong person!
Hahaha.. it was kinda funny. so qiao lah!
We ate pasta and then wanted to watch a movie but couldn't in the end..
Yup after that i went for guides and had alot of fun!!
Heh heh they were doing outdoor cooking and i found that I MISS IT ALOT.
I dunno why but nothing will ever beat guides.
I miss the smell lah and all the stupid names we come up with for things... hahah.. and the GOSSIP. wahhhh... gossiping with juniors may sometimes be such a happy thing.
Haha.. then went home and reach at ard.. 8?

This week and the coming week is exciting.
Cause tml.. aft the stupid milkrun we're gonna have dinner..
all the 'kids' hahaah,.. ok maybe its not that exciting.
I dunno kinda weird that we're gg out to eat tgt.. not like we very shou or smth.
But aiyah dunno lah its for my brother i guess..
Next week will be..
Going back sn with matong and diana.. 6 july.
UNITY BBQ
7 JULY.
and then farewell?/6hopeT 8 july..

Hoho.

4:25 PM